Saturday, January 30, 2021

(My friend, Gail Hauswirth, gave me permission to share what she refers to as a “musing.”)

“Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall rise up on wings as an eagle. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not grow faint. Teach me Lord, teach me Lord to wait.”

From the prophet Isaiah, this prayer for patience comes to me unbidden. Perhaps sixty years have passed since I prayerfully sang these words on Sunday morning. I have tried to learn to wait. I have worked at patience. I have understood that peace comes with the mastery of “waiting.” I have longed for this peace and have worked at breathing and being…but my unquiet mind has always told me to do something. Anything. I have had real trouble letting God be God.

Now I am seventy years old, and I am waiting with the world for things to be better. I have no choice but to wait. Is this the lesson? “Be still and know that I am God.”

I cannot fix this. I cannot make anything happen in my time. I see my insignificant ability to change anything. I feel the sweep of our collective destiny as we hope for vaccines and science to save us.

What purpose can be wrung from all this suffering? Will I finally learn to be patient? Will I understand, finally, my true ephemeral existence? Will I gain perspective on that which is immortal?

I present myself as a willing student. I await my lessons.

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Blog contributor Gail Hauswirth